The little red book of urbex

Don't be fooled by it, but under fun and restful surroundings, urbex requires in-depth knowledge of a number of rules and best practices. Which makes it a fairly elitist activity, anyone (like you) is not able to enter the very closed circle of first-class urban explorers (of which I am one, of course).

On this page, I will expose you all I know on the subject, while trying to popularize as much as possible, considering your lamentable intellectual level.
I know, I'm too generous but you can still thank me (and practicing a sacrifice on my behalf, it doesn't cost anything).

I'm going to split this little guide into four parts, just to not tire your few neurons too quickly :

1. Research and preparation
2. Takeaway bazaar
3. During the exploration
4. The glorification
5. Conclusions

I. Research and preparation

You are a beginner and obviously you have no address.
I have the solution !

• Start by creating a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Flickr page first. I did it and because of that, I have a loyal, dedicated and global community that has followed me tirelessly for years. This proves the effectiveness of social services... sorry... networks.
  Once your different accounts have been created, do not hesitate to harass famous explorers to obtain a first location. After all, if you think about it, the best known and most publicized are the nicest, most talented and honest, right ? It is the case everywhere, why not in the small world of urbex ?
  

  Social networks, where a lot of people find a reason to be...

• If this first method doesn't work, fall back on the sites reselling addresses. These sons of... people work hard for the good of discipline, so it makes sense to pay them some hard cash. So these assh... people will be able to go exploring far with your money while you, you will be satisfied with the address of an abandoned bus shelter at the corner of the street.
  Given my immense generosity, I offer you MY card with all of MY spots :
  

  No need to thank me !

• Now there are other methods of finding locations but they are only for morons. Do you still want me to explain them to you ?
  Ok, I've pity for you :
  • Look in the photos for any clues that might allow location.
    This is how I was able to find the address of the Chambre du Commerce, Gravestone Church and many other places at the time.
    It’s a long and often disheartening job, but when you find what you’ve been looking for, you can experience some legitimate pride.
  • Abuse Google Maps™. If this magic tool didn't exist, there wouldn't be as many explorers, that's for sure. However, by traveling at random, you can always come across a “suspicious” site and carry out some investigations. With any luck, you will have discovered a new place. Well done !
  • Walk and observe your environment. Simple and efficient.
    You never know the place where you live and it is by walking that you can come across a nugget. And don't forget that urbex is adventure. So, dare to think outside the box.
    Once a potential spot has been identified, study it. Gates that have been closed for many years, weeds and unmaintained gardens, cut electrical connections, mail overflowing from the mailbox are all signs of a possible abandonment of the place.
  • Do you often use the train ? Instead of keeping your head screwed on your smartphone, look out the window. You will be amazed at the number of spots that can be found this way.
  • These last four points require a little work. Yes, sometimes (often even) you have to move your ass to get what you want.
• Do you now have a list of spots ? Perfect.
  Now the preparation :
  • From a clothing point of view, don't neglect your appearance ! Especially if you're going to take lots of selfies, right ? So beautiful clothes and hairstyle are essential.
    Selfies have become an obligation with the development of smartphones. Rather than putting the place visited in the spotlight, the star must be YOU ! You're totally right. Taking a selfie in an abandoned place or on your toilet isn't the same thing.
    Solid, dirty and long clothes are only for those who are worried about their physical integrity. It is always pleasant to walk in a field of brambles in shorts or to have your arm butchered by a broken window.
  • Don't let anyone know about the adventure that you are about to begin. Nothing will happen to you, so there's no need to worry others in case you have a little problem.
  • Organize a bus to go on an exploit, like our Dutch friends.
    The more we are, the better it is not ? Is it less discreet ? Bah... It's all a question of point of view !
    Once there, park prominently in front of the place. Thus, everyone in the neighborhood will know that you are practicing an elite activity right now. And too bad if this same neighborhood calls the police.
  

  Suggestion of perfect clothes for urban exploration.
  Practical, safe and top class.

II. Takeaway bazaar

Is your shitty expedition well prepared ? Perfect !
Haven't you forgotten anything ? Check out my checklist created just for you !

• Your camera or smartphone.
  Or nothing for the shots, it's up to you.
• Some memory cards.
  Well yes, selfies eat up a lot of space.
• A gas mask or a full-face mask.
  It’s so original, and most importantly, no one has had this brilliant idea yet.
• Your t-shirts, sweaters, caps, thongs, lunch box, hats, stickers with your fucking website/group.
  You ABSOLUTELY need to be recognized, especially in places where there is supposed to be no one around.
• A good tripod.
  But only if you have the concern of taking photos a little worked. Otherwise, what's the point of messing around with something heavy and unwieldy ? Except perhaps to break down doors (or break down those who break down doors, as you wish).
• Cleaning materials for your camera.
  There is always a lot of dust in the wasteland and as you may know, changing lenses in such places can be fatal to your expensive beautiful gear, mainly if you have multiple lenses.
• A flashlight or headlamp.
  No need to explain why. Oh yes, maybe for the two at the back.
• To drink and to eat.
  Urbex sometimes takes a bit of effort (although a lot of people don't know what that word means). On the other hand, do not throw your waste in forgotten places. Just because it's abandoned doesn't mean it can become your trash.
• A first aid kit.
  It may seem overkill but it can be considered, especially if you are venturing far from any civilization or in places deemed particularly dangerous. Do we ever know !

Now a list of what to ban, unless if you want to get in trouble or sound like a big asshole.

• A crowbar and/or lock picking equipment.
  The first is heavy and bulky, and being in possession of the second is not illegal, but leaves little imagination in its use.
  Forcing a lock is an offense (see this page).
• A drone.
  While this device may have a great use, flying something like this over a place supposedly devoid of human presence will not be very discreet. In addition to the drone, avoid anything that can reveal your presence in an abandoned place. I'm not going to list everything, just get your brain working (if you have one).
• Everything you need for a picnic or barbecue.
  Yes, I advise you to take food with it, not to do like Uncle Alfred and Aunt Harriet at the Camping des Flots Bleus.
• Animals or children (even grandparents).
  Yes, I classify this stuff in the "objects" category. So what ? Fuck you.
  Seriously, I say it again : URBEX CAN BE DANGEROUS !
  On the other hand, if your mother-in-law bothers you, why not...

III. During the exploration

• If the place is closed, use all means to enter, broken glass remains my favorite.
  And too bad if the place is not really abandoned. Home invasion is not punishable at all.
  Fuck the law since you are a rebel. Please do not inquire about the legal risks incurred during an exploration.


Breaking in is for idiots

• Above all, forget DISCRETION and RESPECT !
  When you are in an abandoned place, it is yours, so you are free to do whatever you want with it. And don't worry about the following visitors. They only had to come before you, right ?!
  Several possibilities :
  • Theft : a little memory theft won't change much, will it ?
    This is how several places were robbed in a few weeks.
  • Tags : street art is... an art (it's in the name anyway), so if you practice it, you're an artist. Well seen ! Don’t hesitate to cover everything with your talents.
    When you have gastroenteritis, you usually cover the toilet bowl with smelly fecal matter. The tagger does the same, but with spray paint and on walls.
  • Do you see a closed door ? Above all, don't close it ! This will facilitate the invasion of the place by unwanted people.
  • Use your photoflash.
    Perfect for betraying your presence in a place, it offers the significant advantage of not having to know how to use your digital camera in manual mode.
  • Shout, laugh, phone, in short, make noise ! People need to know that you are there.
  • For house visits, don't respect the place that once belonged to someone else. Steal family memories, make beautiful scenes for your photos and don't put anything back in place afterwards. I already told you, you're at home here.


It hurts a little...
Dr. Frédéric Taboul

• Forget also PRUDENCE.
  You are the best, nothing will happen to you.
  Collapsed floor, humidity, cracked walls ? Pffff, what a joke ! You are not a queen and you are not afraid of anything.
  Aren't you the type to be scared of a scratch ? You're right. Tetanus no longer exists.
• A point already explained but which I find essential : do not RESPECT the place !
  But maybe you don't know the meaning of this word. In this case, I can do nothing for you...

---


Let's do a video interlude



© Gifer


End of pause

---

• You are still here ? Perfect.
  Let's go on.
  Have you finished your visit and your memory card is full of magnificent photos, each more perfect than the last ? Get out of the spot as you entered : no matter how. Fucking the mess is a plus.
• You can go to the next spot by repeating your same mistakes... sorry... you are so perfect !

IV. After exploration, the quest for glory

• You are back home and you are discharging your memory card.
  Rework your pictures (bad HDR is for me the ultimate in good taste), use as many filters as possible, distort as you see fit the places you have visited.
• Highlight yourself by posting everywhere ONE photo of the place and SEVERAL pictures of yourself.
  Neglecting to tell the story of the place is not worth it. But if you do, stay vague, just to not allow too easy localization.


Artist's Shit
© Piero Manzoni

• Contact the press (TV, it's even better !), To spread your smugness and your shitty pictures. Above all, don't forget to lay down rules which you don't follow, it's very important to pass yourself off as a person you are not.
  Then take offense at too many explorers. Logic.
• Create a YouTube™ channel.
  Make as many videos as possible with the most views, then try to find a sponsor who will pay you dearly so that you can explore as far as possible. Prove that you are superior to other explorers.
• Consider the places visited as YOUR places. You left your footprints there, so it's yours.

V. Conclusions

Obviously, this text is to be taken in the second-degree humor. Though...
Keep in mind the following :

• There is no governing body for urbex, and therefore no regulations. Respect common sense and everything will be fine. Just practice urban exploration with passion, humility, honesty and fair play.
• What do you want to be ?
  An explorer who practices urbex for pleasure and, while respecting common sense, helping to safeguard a forgotten and neglected heritage. Or a good big disrespectful asshole who thinks only of his personal glory and thus promoting the bad reputation of urban exploration.
  Up to you.
• Yes, you can exchange location's addresses. Who can forbid you ? But do it with people you trust and not with the first stranger who passes by. As in life.
• Yes, you can keep your addresses for yourself. It can be frustrating for others, but maybe you have good reason to do it. Who can judge you ?
• Do you have to have a $3,000 reflex camera to do urbex ? NO ! Do you want to shoot with a smartphone ? Go for it. But don’t belittle those who make the effort to offer the best pictures possible. There is work behind a beautiful picture.
  Did you know that there is even a category of explorers who visit the places without taking a single photo ? Yes yes ! They’re just there for the fun of exploring.


Urban exploration must remain a pleasure, but approached with caution

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